Team Brimble like to run a tight ship and that means Rules or in our case Protocols. Our key Protocols are listed below:
PROTOCOL NO.1(a): WATCHKEEPING (Owner Jack Halsall)
10 minutes before the end of your watch you are expected to "pop on the kettle" for the next mans watch, you then wake the man and in a chirpy voice ask which hot beverage they would like. Wait for the kettle to boil whilst the new watchman prepares so they may start their watch with a delicious hot drink resulting in immediate "beverage relief". Failure to comply with this protocol may result in "beverage tension".
Note: the kettle may or may not whistle and therefore it is essential that a constant watch is maintained on the kettle to avoid turning the saloon into a sauna.
PROTOCOL N0.2 SLEEPING BAG (Owner Selma Halsall)
On completion of your watch you will be keen to sleep but before you do you MUST take the previous mans sleeping bag which will be in your bunk and exchange it with your own sleeping bag which should be located in the trotter box next to the chart table. Failure to comply with this protocol is likely to end in the sharing of bags which is considered a health and hygiene risk on the good ship.
PROTOCOL N0.3 MUG HYGIENE (Owner Jack Halsall)
After every "Choca Mocha" or similar the mug MUST be cleaned before refilling otherwise severe cross contamination will occur. This protocol only applies to Chocca Mocca; Tea, Coffee and Hot Chocolate are all acceptable blends..
PROTOCOL NO.7 HEADS USE (Owner Phil Trotter)
Kneel to pee, but only on the good ship. When back down the pub stand up like normal. Passers by may find it unnerving. This Protocol excludes women who should always sit down.
PROTOCOL NO.9 WATER BOTTLE (Owner John Halsall)
Any water bottle used by a member of the crew immediately after oral evacuation should be marked as such by an observer. This is vital in case of 'blow back' contamination. A visual check of the bottle is not sufficient to allow this Protocol to be bypassed.
Future Protocols yet to be drafted:
PROTOCOL 10 (log book completion) owner Gordon McBride
PROTOCOL 16 (ensign protocol) owner Rob Parsons
PROTOCOL 21 (arrival protocol) owner Rob Parsons
PROTOCOL 111 (charging protocol)